I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
