I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache