tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.