Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.

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  (480): I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it. http://tfl.nu/fq9i
  Replies (14) Good night (1969) Bad night (629)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure

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  (775): i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure http://tfl.nu/ggme
  Replies (19) Good night (1446) Bad night (2025)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.

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  (651): I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again. http://tfl.nu/g370
  Replies (33) Good night (897) Bad night (7050)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?

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  (207): do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam? http://tfl.nu/5qkv
  Replies (31) Good night (999) Bad night (5560)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Did i throw a brick at someone last night?

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  (361): Did i throw a brick at someone last night? http://tfl.nu/tk7m
  Replies (15) Good night (5870) Bad night (1546)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night

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  (306): Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night http://tfl.nu/jc2t
  Replies (14) Good night (4216) Bad night (1358)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  She even gives head with a lisp.

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  (407): She even gives head with a lisp. http://tfl.nu/76cl
  Replies (17) Good night (2609) Bad night (4931)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.

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  (617): we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over. http://tfl.nu/igug
  Replies (4) Good night (1969) Bad night (1493)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'

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  (954): They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home' http://tfl.nu/2uct
  Replies (4) Good night (2287) Bad night (811)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim

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  (913): I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim http://tfl.nu/0xxd
  Replies (8) Good night (2723) Bad night (963)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.

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  (709): got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets. http://tfl.nu/3ghg
  Replies (2) Good night (1614) Bad night (797)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.

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  (704): From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting. http://tfl.nu/uwdf
  Replies (1) Good night (1219) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Yea we just broke up

  (914): View more from New York

  so do we start sexting now or later?

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  (917): Yea we just broke up (914): so do we start sexting now or later? http://tfl.nu/8x1o
  Replies (12) Good night (1271) Bad night (496)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.

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  (713): It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat. http://tfl.nu/xaim
  Replies (2) Good night (591) Bad night (332)
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  (880): View more from

  And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?

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  (880): And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life? http://tfl.nu/xgp4
  Replies (1) Good night (165) Bad night (463)

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