Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(401): View more from Rhode Island

tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better

Fav 21 3586 920
share tweet
(708): View more from Illinois

We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.

Fav 24 5342 986
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(641): View more from Iowa

Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.

Fav 62 18780 2632
share tweet
(908): View more from New Jersey

i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision

Fav 12 7114 1454
share tweet
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(707): View more from California

nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.

Fav 11 2969 819
share tweet
(816): View more from Missouri

Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.

Fav 11 3402 1007
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(312): View more from Illinois

I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex

(312): View more from Illinois

I was drunk

(312): View more from Illinois

Please answer

Fav 16 912 2927
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(940): View more from Texas

See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.

Fav 3 832 516
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.

Fav 4 32 55
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT