im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.