Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
