During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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