Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
