Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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