Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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