i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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