oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
