i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
