he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
