People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
