She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
