Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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