dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just threw up on my dentist
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
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This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
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Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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