i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
