I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
