OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
