He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
there is glitter all over my balls
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
