This girl is more easily done than said...
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
