Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
