Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Is Oprah even human
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
