For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
birth control should be required to get into college
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
