if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
