I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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