I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
