whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
