I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
