I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
