Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
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