Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
