i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
