Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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