you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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