guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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