You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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