he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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