I wish I only lived at night.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
