areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
