so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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