Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize