I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
