I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
