im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
