Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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