your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize