I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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