I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
