Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
