And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
