When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
