So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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