I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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