Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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