I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
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It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
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Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
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