I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
