I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
What did we do last night that was yellow?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
