No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Two words: blizzard sex
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
