you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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