apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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