idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize
