I puked a lego.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
